review

Walter Foods

Williamsburg

Walter is a tall dark and handsome man of mystery who looks like a combination of Clark Gable, Marlon Brando and the Marlboro Man when they were in their prime. In the early 1900's he found a DeLorean in an abandoned cave near Hill Valley, California. Like any red blooded strapping young man he climbed in, started pushing buttons and was promptly teleported to Williamsburg, Brooklyn in the year two thousand eight. At first he didn't even realize that he had actually time traveled over 100 years into the future. He was understandably discombobulated, and aside from a few strange looking motor cars, he was surrounded by what appeared to be his peers from back home in his shanty town. Though no one actually believed his time travel story the Williamsbugers found his delivery very charming, and really wanted to know where he got his outfit. Eventually Walter accepted that he was stuck in this strange new world and rather liked it. He met a girl and moved in with her into her basement apartment on North 7th and Bedford Ave. In order to make him feel more at home, Walter's girlfriend made an early withdrawal from her trust fund to aid him in opening Walter Foods, which was the name of the restaurant he had owned when he lived back in time. One day, while getting a free pizza with his beer purchase at The Charleston, Walter got into a fight with an equally handsome man of the same age. Ironically this boy (who was just as hot as Walter except with tattoos), turned out to be his Great Great Great Grandson. Walter's Grandson was one of five fraternal quintuplets, each one hotter than the other. He hired them all to work with him at his restaurant.

Moral of the story is: If you like tall dark and handsome men of mystery who have tattoos, and look like a combination of Clark Gable, Marlon Brando and the Marlboro Man, then go to Walter Foods.

Seriously Ladies.

I'll leave you with this...