Friday
Wednesday
story books
Scientology
Seriously...
...75 million years ago, an evil galactic warlord named Xenu controlled seventy-six planets in this corner of the galaxy, each of which was severely overpopulated. To solve this problem, Xenu rounded up 13.5 trillion beings and then flew them to Earth, where they were dumped into volcanoes around the globe and vaporized with bombs. This scattered their radioactive souls, or thetans, until they were caught in electronic traps set up around the atmosphere and "implanted" with a number of false ideas -- including the concepts of God, Christ and organized religion. Scientologists later learn that many of these entities attached themselves to human beings, where they remain to this day, creating not just the root of all of our emotional and physical problems but the root of all problems of the modern world.
Tuesday
she speaks
lady and bird.
it's the hardest thing to find, and the easiest thing to do
honey, we're all damaged goods.
Monday
Wednesday
Tuesday
Friday
Thursday
the G
Fuck you The G
You are so dead to me
Stop four times for Queens
While I freeze in my jeans
It is clear that you do this on purpose
Wednesday
Tuesday
Thursday
review
August
West Village
An influx of medieval hodge podge (and possibly made up) spices piled together in what appears to be a culinary walk of shame. A Scullery Maid and Merlon's, illegitimate redheaded child (all growns up) and lost in the woods, seeking shelter in an apocathery's abandoned greenhouse.
The meat I tried to eat was called Goat Leg. It was accompanied by mystery greens and a viscid little ball they referred to as Dumplings. The Oxtail Ragu seemed as though it was sauteed in said Scullery Maid's preserved placenta. And please, don't even ask about the spaghetti squash and chorizo sudoku puzzle they call Camarones a la Parilla. (Added Bonus: Black garlic and squid ink dipping sauce. ?.) But don't worry, they lend you a couple crawdads whose beady little eyes gaze upon you while you eat. As if to say "You will sit at this table until everything on your plate is finished, or I'm telling your father".
Strong points? The wine was good, and ordered by a dashing and brilliant young man. AND if you move the table around enough, it will stop wobbling.
Cheers.
Wednesday
Tuesday
deep red bells
Deep Red Bells
Who led you to this hiding place
These lightning thread-spun silver tunnels
The red bells beckon you to ride
A handprint on the drivers side
It looks a lot like engine oil
And tastes like being poor and small
And popsicles in summer
It always has to come this
The red bells ring this tragic hour
We've lost sight of the overpass
The daylight wont remember that
No speckled fawns raise round your bones
Who took the time to fold your clothes
And shook the valley of the shadow
Where does this mean world cast its cold eye?
Whos left to suffer long about you?
Does your soul cast about like an old paper bag
Past empty lots and early graves
Of those like you who lost their way
Murdered on the interstate
While the red bells rang like thunder?
Monday
Friday
Thursday
allen
"Allen"
I was thinking about how sick I was of the white walls in my living room the whole ride home from work on the subway. My Grandfather owned a painting business and somehow, I believe this makes me a superior painter. So, I got off at Lorimer and went to Klenosky Paint Shop to buy 'Barren Plain' in a flat finish. ('Barren Plain' is my 'Sig-nah-chuh Kuh-luh'). I walked all the way to Bushwick and Grand carrying two, gallon paint cans. I got home, thanked the Lord, and started taping off the molding.
Luckily my friend Katie called and I convinced her to come over using wine as my lure. Soon my living room was a disaster and we were deep into paint mode. With the inspiring and invigorating musical stylings of Bon Iver pressing us on we decided to paint my bedroom as well. Unfortunately 'Barren Plain' doesn't look the same when painted over 'Shit Eggshell Brown' in a room with no windows. After 30 minutes we were exhausted. We collectively decided to abort mission and concentrate solely on the living room. And then (as usual) I had a fantastic idea.
I called Allen for "Ukulele Lessons". Allen arrived within five minutes of my phone call. (Ever since I read him the poem I wrote for him, I feel as though I get special treatment). Allen was not at all surprised at the state of my living room. The last time he had come over I was making a cape, and the time before that I was having a party. So I'm pretty sure by now, he knows what type of stoner I am.
Allen unloaded his bag of tricks, and I continued the improvement of my home. My Father works in construction and somehow, I believe this makes me a superior home improver. I had installed dimmers in most all the light boxes all by my lonesome. Now that the walls were painted, I was ready to relish in my accomplishments and put the 'face plate on the cake', if you will. As Allen was saying that he watched me walk to the Subway while I was on a date; there was a spark, a zapping sound and I accidently broke my apartment. NOTE: You not only have to turn the electricity off to connect the wires when replacing the light switches with dimmers, but you must also do this when putting the 'face plate on the cake'.
After I screamed, Allen said "Shank what happened?", (Allen calls me 'Shank', and that's another story). I then called Ryan (my downstairs neighbor) because he is a man, and I believed he could fix my apartment. He couldn't, so it seemed I would have to wait until the morning to find out what I had done. Luckily I have a fireplace and candles. Allen rolled us a sympathetic and generous joint, which we smoked in jest.
I then heard a soft voice coming from the door and realized that my roommate had been home the entire time. She was very upset with me. Initially becuase I broke the apartment, but primarily because she could smell the weed and as a devout Catholic was involuntarily sinning. I apologized for taking her weed virginity without her consent. With the closing of the door Katie, Allen and I bursted into a fit of uncomfortable, and uncontrollable laughter. And I'm pretty sure my roommate heard us, loud and clear. Ah, middle age.
Wednesday
Thursday
Tuesday
Friday
Thursday
Wednesday
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